Settling Into the Shift: Undoing the Rush Before the Rest
First blog for November. Can you believe it? November has finally arrived. And with its arrival, we are facing the quiet reminder that everything slows down, eventually. The clocks roll back (last night), the days get shorter, the light fades faster. And yet, so many of us try to fight against it. We push through the darkness with extra coffee, longer work hours, more distractions, as if slowing down is something to be ashamed of.
But nature reminds us otherwise. The trees are not rushing to keep their leaves. They are letting go gently, steadily, and unapologetically. Remember last week’s blog? Like the trees, we too are going through our own seasons of transition. Sometimes that means shedding what no longer serves us; other times, it means preparing for stillness before we bloom again. In the therapy room, I often talk about the power of alignment with therapy seekers. Healing is not about perfection, not productivity, but attunement. How do you know what you need in a new season? In transition? How do we attune to what the season is asking of us?
During this time of year, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (also called “winter blues”) can begin to creep in quietly for some people. It can seem like all of a sudden one can experience low energy, heavier moods, irritability, or an urge to withdraw from friends, family, and usual activities. It is a physiological and emotional response to light changes, but it is also a reminder of how deeply connected we are to our environment. The goal isn’t to fight the change, but to prepare for it. If you never thought an hour could make a difference, it does.
Signs You May Be Struggling with SAD
SAD can look different for everyone, but awareness is the first step toward care. You might be experiencing signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder if you notice:
Feeling persistently down, low, or hopeless during the fall or winter months
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that usually bring you joy
Changes in appetite (especially craving carbs) or weight gain/loss (fluctuations)
Sleeping more than usual but still feeling tired
Difficulty concentrating or staying motivated
Withdrawing from social connections or feeling unusually isolated
Irritability, anxiety, or restlessness
A sense that everything feels heavier — emotionally, mentally, or physically
If these patterns feel familiar, it’s not just you being “lazy” or “unmotivated.” These are real symptoms of a seasonal mood shift that deserve compassion and care. Undoing toxic beliefs around “just pushing through it” means giving yourself permission to seek help from a therapist, primary care doctor, or psychiatrist. Support, light therapy, or structured routines can also make a significant difference.
Grounding Self Through the Season
It is important to anticipate as much as possible if you know this can be a challenging time for you. Getting ahead of the shift might look like:
Routine: Keeping your sleep schedule steady, so your body feels safe in predictability.
Movement: Choosing gentle, nourishing forms of movement that wake your body and release tension. This can be a walk, dancing, stretching, running, and exercise.
Light: Open your curtains first thing in the morning, step outside for even a few minutes of sunlight, or consider using a light therapy lamp.
Connection: Resist isolation. Plan moments of joy with people who refill you, even when it feels easier to withdraw.
Mindfulness: Start or return to a practice of stillness: journaling, breathwork, meditiation, and/or prayer. Make room for presence with yourself.
Sound: Invite sound intentionally into your space. Create playlists that lift your mood, play ambient sounds while working, or use music as a grounding anchor when your thoughts feel heavy. Sound can shift energy, elevate mood, and remind the body of rhythm and aliveness.
Undoing toxic lessons around worth and productivity means recognizing that slowing down is not failure, it is wisdom.
We may come from cultures, families, and societal systems that taught us to “power through” to work even when tired, to show up even when we are empty, and to ignore or minimize discomfort or emotions that come along with the tasks at hand. We learned to do this because unearned, undeserved rest has become associated with laziness. But that mindset does not sustain us; it drains us and causes more harm than good long-term.
This season invites us to unlearn the fear of stillness. To realize that peace is not found in constant doing, but in intentional being.
So, as November unfolds, try this:
Instead of bracing for the dark, build rituals of light.
Light a candle in the morning.
Play music or a podcast while you cook dinner.
Say no when you need to rest.
Say yes to warmth, softness, and slowness.
We can not control the turning of the seasons, but we can choose how we meet them. Let this be the month you slow down with intention not because you have to, but because you deserve to.
Because undoing toxic means giving yourself permission to be human, tender, self-compassionate and enough, even in the quiet transitions.
Let’s connect. Email me: moniqueevanstherapy@gmail.com
Accepting individual, couples, and family clients (self-pay and select insurance via headway.co- Monique Evans, LCSW)
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