This Too Is Healing
Happy Sunday and do not forget to subscribe to never miss another update! Today is a personal reflection and travel blog.
Here are two previous blogs I have written about travel:
Queen of Outside and Solo Travel! (click to read)
Rewriting the Memory (click to read)
Yesterday, I was on Instagram and came across a post that said we have to stop researching healing and start living it. The words hit me so directly that I had to pause and ask myself: Am I actually living my healing… or am I just studying it?Like many of us, we do all the “right” things.
I try to sleep better. Eat better. Get outside. Get vitamin D. Avoid disappearing into my apartment. Journal. Go to therapy. Move my body. Listen to the podcasts. Realign spiritually. Declutter my space. I, like you, know the tips, the books, and what the science says.
I pose this question to myself and to you: Am I participating in my healing? Or am I intellectualizing it?
Truthfully, I have always loved nature: flowers, gardens, water, beaches, mountains… all of it. I can find beauty anywhere. But a few years ago, during a Reiki reading, the healer shared something that has stayed with me:
“You feel a disconnect because you observe and appreciate, but you don’t always participate.”
This was such an eye-opening realization. I am pretty reserved and laid back and I was doing the same thing even in my life, alone?!
It was not enough to admire the ocean. I needed to let the ocean touch me.
It was not enough to look at beauty. I needed to let beauty interact with me. I needed to engage my five senses: intentionally, fully, without holding myself at a distance.
So on my next trip at the time to Costa Rica, I made it my goal to participate in nature:
Sight: Waking up for sunrise on the balcony, waiting for sunset on the beach, watching the colors change and letting it soften me.
Touch: Letting the sun warm my skin. Immersing myself in the water from head to toe. Feeling the weightlessness of floating on my back.
Sound: Hearing the currents beneath me, the wind, the mix of languages, the music in the distance.
Smell: The earth after rain, the ocean breeze, fresh fruit, warm sand.
Taste: Local foods, new flavors, things I do not get to try at home.
I realized that as a mostly solo traveler, I often defaulted to being the observer; watching other people laugh and connect while staying on the outside. And sure, it is socially inappropriate to insert yourself into people’s conversations, but there are always invitations if you stay open and look approachable.
I carried this wisdom with me to the Dominican Republic this year. This is a trip I desperately needed and was right on time. I was overwhelmed with schedules, routines, responsibilities, and the constant noise of life in New York City. I needed space. I needed quiet. I needed a moment that wasn’t dictated by my calendar and a clock. I also needed to get out of the cold and darkness at 4pm.
Finally, I arrived in the Dominican Republic, I spoke my best Spanish, I spent less time on my phone, took less pictures (if you believe it or not) and I am so thankful I did this for myself. I let the waves hit me at the beach and laughed about it, unbothered by how ridiculous I probably looked. I buried myself in sand like a child. I went looking for rocks and seashells. I stayed grounded in my senses. And one night, sitting alone at a bar in Punta Cana, watching friends and couples around me, I felt that familiar observer feeling creeping in. I was deep in thought about life and wonderings.
Then came the invitation.
“¿Quieres bailar?” (Do you want to dance?)
And I said yes.
To connection.
To softness.
To participation.
To healing.
What did I let go of in the moment? Monique, don’t worry about your drink. Put your bag on the table where you can see it. You’ll be fine.
In a moment where I felt most alone, stepping out of my internal thoughts and into the present was what I needed. Healing does not always look like rituals and routines. Sometimes it looks like saying yes. Leaning in. Letting yourself be seen. Participating in life instead of analyzing it.
All the things I did: the grounding, the rest, the intentionality were all healing.
But the truth is: we also need others. I write a lot about letting go and being comfortable with self, but truly we need connection and relationships. We need simple wisdom, gentle reminders, and sometimes strangers who extend a hand and say, “Come dance.”
With gratitude, I invite you to step out of observer mode and into participation, inside and outside the therapy room. Let yourself live your healing, not just study it.
Remember, this too is healing.
Let’s connect. Email me: moniqueevanstherapy@gmail.com
Accepting individual, couples, and family clients (self-pay and select insurance via headway.co- Monique Evans, LCSW)
For social work clinicians, I also offer clinical consultation meetings (Not to be confused with clinical supervision for licensure hours) at any level of practice.
Book me as your mental health presenter for speaking engagements, podcasts, panels, and presentations.
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