Cures For Heartbreak
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As a relationship therapist, once people find this out about me, it is mostly what they want to talk about. Social events, traveling on a plane, standing in a line…I have heard all kinds of stories. People wanting answers for themselves and people they know. In and outside of the therapy space, there is a lot of focus on how to find love, be ready for love, and how to keep it. We do not really talk about heartbreak. Today, I want to talk about heartbreak infusing some old time Jamaican proverbs from my culture.
We all have a heartbreak story. The one you thought you would never come back from. Maybe you lost your appetite, went into a dark hole. Maybe even asked God to never allow you to have this type of emotional connection to a man or woman ever again. Bought your whole amazon cart. Binged ice cream, listened to your favorite heartbreak songs, ordered way too much take-out. Got back on an app, looked for a distraction in your private messages, got on top of something old or new and hoped distraction even for a little while would help to get over this.
But sometimes healing doesn’t come in a straight line.
We look for wisdom when we feel lost and broken.
Heartbreak has a way of knocking the wind out of you. Whether you saw it coming or not, it disorients you—grieving not just the relationship, but the version of yourself that existed inside it.
There’s an old saying: “It takes half the time you were in the relationship to grieve it.” Whether it’s true or not, grief has its own rhythm. In the meantime, we reach for what comforts us—ice cream, good food, late-night scrolls, friends who know what we mean without us having to explain.
Because when the plan doesn’t go according to plan, we adapt.
Healing doesn’t always come in a straight line. Sometimes, it comes in unexpected moments:
A train ride through a new city.
A playlist from a friend.
A walk home on a different street.
A moment of laughter you didn’t think you were ready for.
You gather small cures that stitch your heart back together. Here are some of them.
1. Travel — Change Your View to Change Your Mind
There’s something about stepping outside your usual surroundings that puts your pain into perspective. Whether it’s a trip across the world or a weekend away, travel gives your heart room to breathe. It reminds you that there’s more to life than what you lost—and more of you waiting to be found.
Jamaican proverb: “New broom sweep clean, but old broom know the corners.”
Translation: A fresh start can help, but your old self still carries wisdom. Honor both.
2. Good Friends — The Chosen Family That Holds You Together
The real ones show up. Not to fix it, but to sit with you in it. The ones who bring snacks, send memes, or just let you cry and vent without rushing you to be okay. Heartbreak is lonely, but healing doesn’t have to be. Let people love you back to yourself.
Jamaican proverb: “Good friends better than pocket money.”
Translation: Love, support, and presence are priceless. They carry you further than anything money can buy.
3. A New Routine — Rebuild From the Ashes
You don’t go back to “normal” after heartbreak. You create “a new normal.” Slowly. Intentionally. You find joy in small things again. You drink your coffee differently. You walk a different path home. You learn that healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means choosing yourself in the aftermath. And sometimes, you get back to you and other friendships/relationships that may have been neglected during that relationship.
4. Movement — Let It Move Through You
Move your body. Dance, walk, cry through a yoga class. Heartbreak lives in the body, and the only way out is through. Let it move through you instead of getting stuck inside you.
Jamaican proverb: “Rock stone a river bottom nuh know sun hot.”
Translation: Just because you’re numb doesn’t mean you’re okay. Movement helps you feel again.
5. Time — But Not Just Time Passing, Time Spent
Healing takes time, but not just the kind that ticks by on a clock. Healing comes from how you spend that time. Time spent creating, laughing, grieving, resting, rediscovering. Don’t rush the process. Let it shape you.
As Toni Morrison said, “You wanna fly, you got to give up the thing that weighs you down.”
6. Radical Self-Honesty — Own the Story
Admit what hurt. Name what was missing. Be honest about the ways you ignored red flags, settled for less, or held on too long. Not to blame yourself—but to free yourself. Clarity is closure.
Jamaican proverb: “Sorry fi mawga dog, mawga dog turn round bite you.”
Translation: If you make excuses for what’s hurting you, it might come back to harm you.
Radical honesty protects you from repeating the same cycles. Compassion doesn't mean self-betrayal.
7. Hope — Even If It's Small
Heartbreak will try to convince you that this is the end of something good. But really, it’s the beginning of your next chapter. Hope doesn’t have to be loud—sometimes it’s just the quiet belief that you’ll feel joy again. And you will.
Jamaican proverb: “Every day the bucket go a well, one day the bottom must drop out.”
Translation: Even if things feel stuck now, change is inevitable. What feels like an end might just be the breakthrough.
Hope isn’t just wishful thinking—it’s trusting that transformation is already in motion, even if you can’t see it yet.
Final Thoughts
You don’t forget the love. But you remember your worth. Heartbreak will shape you, but it doesn’t have to harden you. Let the loss make you softer, wiser, and more grounded in who you are. You are not what someone walked away from. You are what you choose to return to—again and again.
Jamaican proverb: “Every hoe ha dem stick a bush.”
Translation: There’s someone for everyone. But first, become someone for yourself.
Reflection Questions
What’s one lesson heartbreak taught you?
Who has shown up for you in your healing?
Which of these cures do you think you might try?
Let’s connect. Email me: moniqueevanstherapy@gmail.com
Accepting individual, couples, and family clients (self-pay and select insurance via headway.co- Monique Evans, LCSW)
For social work clinicians, I also offer clinical consultation meetings (Not to be confused with clinical supervision for licensure hours) at any level of practice.
Book me as your mental health presenter for speaking engagements, podcasts, panels, and presentations.
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